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And Still More Domliciousness!

Here are screencaps of Dominic Monaghan's appearances in the fourth and final season of Hetty Wainthropp Investigates, at which time he was 21(ish).

4 April, 2005

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Episode Twenty-Two - 'Something to Treasure'

Hmmm, I wonder what Mr Wainthropp means when he says he wants to see me blow this... OK, I suppose I could have a go... That was fun! I wonder if there's anything else around here for me to have a go on? Geoffrey looking all manly like with his new sideburns.
Thoughful Geoffrey. No, I don't want to buy any of your crap paintings, so I'll hug myself and look adorable to get your mind off it. Damn, they're sending me down a mine. Looking adorable won't get me out of this one! Maybe looking sweaty and grubby will work instead!
It didn't work! Dammit! Now I'm trapped down a mine where even my good looks and charm won't save me! Geoffrey having extricated himself from the mine, Hetty goes all maternal on him... ... and proceeds to try and break his ribs. And the award for Most Welcome Gratuitous Shower Scene In a British Drama goes to...
"Did you see my bum before, Mrs Wainthropp? It's good, innit?" Hmmm, I wonder how many other excuses I can find for showing off my tasty arse... Shit, it's too dark for anyone to see my bum in here, even if I do flash it. But if I solve the mystery quickly, we can get out of here and I can flash it again!
I'll just sit here and look moody. Maybe people will offer me money to show my arse again. Then again, do I really want to show it off here, in a pub, like a common stripper? I shall sit here calmly and gloat over the power of
my sexy bum.
Poor Mrs Wainthropp, she has no idea what she's missing out on by not getting me to drop my trousers for every case.
   
  Hey Janet, would you like to see my arse? Awww, kisses are sweet.
But I'd much rather show my arse again.
 

Episode Twenty-Three - 'Family Values'

Geoffrey lost his teddy bear, so now he has to hug his didgeridoo while Janet tells him she's looking for a flatmate. Geoffrey tries to distract Mr Wainthropp with tongue while broaching the subject of moving in with Janet. Shocked!Geoffrey, having been told by Hetty that he's going to have to put a silly hat and a suit on. Sulky!Geoffrey. Actually, this one's just here because I love his profile so much.
Chauffeur Geoffrey and Incapacitated Undercover Mr Wainthropp! Sorry, but he's so goddamn cute in that hat. The world must see as many caps of it as possible. Like this one, which is actually Janet swatting him over the head for being a smartarse. And this one.
Sneaky Undercover Geoffrey. Although he needs to get the sneaky look off his face before he can be truly convincing... Another in the hat and the cheeky grin! Geoffrey and Mr Wainthropp being told how unconvincing their undercover roles were. Poor lambs. Janet tells Geoffrey that she's sick of him stuffing around and has gone and got herself a new flatmate who Isn't Geoffrey! Geoffrey takes it badly.
     
And he goes all pouty while telling the Wainthropps about it. Poor Geoffrey.      

Episode Twenty-Four - 'Digging for Dirt'

Geoffrey is greeted at the door by Janet's topless male flatmate and is a bit surprised. And while he pretends to be all friendly while he's waiting for Janet... ...he's really quite disturbed. At least Hetty can still make him smile, albeit in a rather grim way.
Later That Evening, Geoffrey Follows Janet and her Flatmate Out To a Pizza Joint... ...leading to A Confrontation! Geoffrey looks upset and adorable... ...and even shows tongue in his efforts to persuade Janet of the error of her ways.
Hetty makes him smile again. How thoughtful of her. And again! Obviously Janet's just an old sourpuss and Hetty's the life of the party! Serious Geoffrey, getting a very close close-up. Moody Turtleneck-Sweater Geoffrey.
Will Janet abandon her flatmate and choose Geoffrey?
The suspense is killing him!
Moody Geoffrey again.
Even Hetty can't make him smile now.
What's this? Oh, that's right, I'm supposed to be working on a case. Better get out the torch and whack a few holes in some walls. Geoffrey discovers that Janet's flatmate is going back to his girlfriend. Does he dare hope that Janet will invite him to share the flat now?
 
Evidently not. She's still mad at him. How can she resist? Well, obviously she *can* resist. Heartless bint. And now, Geoffrey walks away to look moody and gorgeous elsewhere.  

Episode Twenty-Five - 'Mind Over Muscle'

Geoffrey encounters Janet at the job centre and tries to cheer her up, but she's a total beeyatch to him and he goes all pouty. Poor baby. Mr Wainthropp is much more amenable to Geoffrey's jokes. Pity he's not as pretty as Janet. Undercover time! Hetty and Geoffrey go to the gym, where Hetty plays devoted auntie buying him a membership. Geoffrey's reaction to the gym. Hee hee hee!
He's going to have another go at cheering Janet up... ...but she's still being a total bitch, and he goes all miserable again. Ah-hah! Maybe getting Janet a job driving forklifts will help! This is Geoffrey being told that his body could look like "a sack full o'conkers" if he applies himself to bulking up. Hee.
A smidgeon of tongue while out drinking with Hetty. Ahhh, the job thing worked! He's in! And Janet loves him again! Two-faced cow. Geoffrey asking Janet if she can tell he's been going to the gym - "Do I feel lumpier?" HAHAHAHA!
Oooh yeah. Geoffrey's definitely gettin' some tonight. The horror is because Hetty's asked him to investigate in a lingerie shop. Since it's called "Knack Knicks", I don't blame him for being horrified. Yep, they're still bras, Geoffrey. They ain't going to change no matter how much you stare through the window at them. Geoffrey smiles in relief after Hetty gives her royal permission for him to move out with Janet.
Hallelujah! Now he can get some every night!
Hetty eyes him beadily while they do their surveillance work, no doubt annoyed that she won't have any sexier bum than Mr Wainthropp's round the house to perve at now. Janet saves the day by driving her forklift at the Evil Guy and spilling goo all over the road! Geoffrey's worried about her, in spite of the fact that he was in a lot more danger than she was. Geoffrey packs up his stuff to move to Janet's.
Ahh, such fond memories of that kangaroo.
Hetty goes all sentimental on him...
   
...which leads to him going all sentimental on her. Although what he doesn't realise is that after he leaves the house, she perves at his perfect arse out of the window as he walks down the street.    

Episode Twenty-Six - 'Blood Relations'

Even in sleep, Geoffrey caresses that which is most precious to him.
No, it's neither Janet nor Mini-Geoffrey, it's his new mobile phone.
And another one. Just cos he looks so cute when he's, er, pretending to be asleep. Geoffrey discovering an old lady who's fallen downstairs. His first aid seems to consist mainly of stroking her, but hey, it'd bring *me* back to life... A little bit of tongue, to distract the villains.
Geoffrey and Hetty go hunting for secret passages in the cliffs! And Geoffrey finds a Secret Trapdoor! And in the hidden tunnel he finds... a turtle! Which he takes to the pet shop. Riveting stuff! Geoffrey tells Hetty off for being late to choir practice. Chortle.
Using that new toy of his. Oooh, spying! "Hello? Hello? What do you mean, I don't get to take a shower in this episode? I'm all underground and dirty, dammit! The public needs to see my arse!" It's OK, Mrs Wainthropp. I can't show my arse this episode, but I do get to stick my jaw out in a manly and menacing way later, so my sex appeal is undiminished.
 
Back home, Janet's all weepy because her meathead neighbour has been harassing her and threatening Geoffrey... ... so Geoffrey goes all Menacing and Manly and scares the meathead off. Huzzah! Happiness all around! Even if Hetty's big meaty hand does insist on caressing Geoffrey's cheek.  

Episode Twenty-Seven - 'For Love Nor Money'

Goodness! Hetty and Geoffrey are out investigating something - together! And he's looking cute and adorable, even if he does have the big ears thing going at the moment. Oh dear. This is the last episode. What will I do with my life now? Oh, the agony! Hmmmm. Maybe there's some role I can play somewhere out there. I shall use the power of my sexy voice to hypnotise someone into auditioning me.
And if that doesn't work, I'll just flash my tongue a few times. Yes, Mr Jackson, I have plenty of experience at looking short, adorable and mischievous. I also have a very attractive arse. Isn't there a hobbit bathhouse scene somewhere in those books? Geoffrey and Janet go undercover, but they're not terribly happy about it. Geoffrey fills in time waiting for Janet, that hussy, while talking to another hussy. What is it with him and the hussies, anyway?
Hussy gets down to business. AHAHAHAHA!
This one deserves to be right up there with that photo of Billy and the Page 3 girl. LOTR Men Ambushed By Tits!
Of course, this means Janet gets all upset and she and Geoffrey have an argument... ... in which he goes all moody and gorgeous.
Mmmmm.
Geoffrey runs home to Mummy and Daddy Wainthropp to sulk for a bit. Ahahahaha!
Muttonchops Geoffrey!
Muttonchops Geoffrey proposes to SculleryMaid Janet. In front of an audience, no less. Muttonchops Geoffrey realises that Scullerymaid Janet thinks this proposal is for real. Oh shit.
And that's the very last Hetty of all, alas. But it's been fun :)
Ahahahaha!
Dig the ruffled shirt!
Janet tells the Wainthropps about Muttonchops Geoffrey's proposal. Gay Sideburns Geoffrey wonders how he can delicately point out that the proposal was valid only as long as the muttonchops were. But he decides to drown his sorrows instead.